Daily Archive

Here we are again, december 5th, I’m one and a half month on hormones and I’m about to tell you what happened to me these past two weeks. No exaggerations, real life experiences…. with all its unscrupulous obscenities… haha …you wish! Again nothing sensational happened in my life, maybe one day in retrospect I could come to another conclusion. If that day comes than please remind me of how I thought these past 2 weeks were trivial. *winks*

First off the physical changes are going that slowly that I hardly see the difference, the changes are really minimal to the naked eye. It’s nothing out of the ordinary, but ever since I noticed the beginning of my breast growth I kinda got obsessed to see if it were really developing. It’s stupid because I know it takes months to see real change, that’s also why I do the measuring only once a month. I know the logic, but somehow I still have to adapt to it. On the other hand, I can’t evade the sensitiveness of my nipples, it daily points me to the fact that something undeerneath is going on. Don’t know if that is the reason why the logic won’t set in, but it’s a plausible reason, don’t you think?
Well beside my chest also my behind seems to accumulate more fat, luckily my butt isn’t itching at all, that would be really too awkward.
I have to say I’m doing well at not scratching my chest area to soothe the itching, I know it doesn’t work like with a casual itch. Sometimes I do make weird moves with my upper body as if I am scratching my chest against a wall or something, it’s totally useless, but for some reason I need to give myself the feeling I’m doing something against the itching.

Last thursday I went to Amsterdam to the Free Univerity Medical Centre, where I had a bone density measurement and an appointment with my gender therapist. The bone density measurement is a standard procedure here for transsexuals who just started their hormone treatment. It is done with a röntgen device, which scanned from my hips to my breast-bone, obviously scanning my spine. It was a short procedure, so I was early for my appointment with my therapist. It was quiet in the waiting room, only one other person was sitting there, so I read some bit in a book I had with me.
The appointment itself was as most of the times quite pleasant, I talked about the physical developments, about my little situation concerning my study and a bit about my mom acting difficult and a little unreasonable about my name. I was also told that my therapist would quit treating adults, because she wanted to specialize on youth, so next appointment with her early February is our last and after that I will have a new one. I’ll easily adjust, like most of the times with changes, and I only have an appointment with my therapist once every three months during my hormone treatment, so the impact on my transition is probably neglible.

On a musical note: I’m going to see St. Vincent on saturday…. yippee ^-^

Next update on the 20th, though I’m thinking of bringing the updates down to once a month and in between discuss other experiences which do touch the subject of my transition.