Tonight I’m tired. It’s 7pm I just had dinner and had chocolate mousse for dessert. I love chocolate mousse. It doesn’t boost my energy though. I’m not annoyed by my tiredness. I didn’t sleep much last night, after going out with friends I went to sleep at about 6am possibly later and woke up at noon. Six hours isn’t enough for me especially when it’s the second night not in my own bed. Is my tiredness entirely due to this, or is it mostly caused by my hormone treatment? Yes my hormone treatment can cause (sudden) tiredness as side-efffect. I have recently been noticing my tiredness at moments uncommon in the past (before hrt). Thus far I don’t know in what way it will be messing with my life, because it hasn’t got that bad that I had to cancel some social activities. I do have to watch to not cancel appointments too often, because then I’ll loose what I’ve been building up since last year, a lively social life. I do want it to get even better though, going out more, but somehow the people I meet aren’t the type of people to go out much. I wish I were more often tired after a nice night out with great music and dancing and chatting all night, something which hasn’t happened last year. I went out a couple of times but not that way, the music sucked or it was a casual night out with mostly chatting with friends. Now and then chatting all night is nice, I’m not that talkative though to amsuse myself that way an entire evening.
I was talking about tiredness though, in the past it helped to drink or eat something to beat the tiredness, especially a cup of tea at 9pm does a nice job. If it is as effective as back then, I doubt it. Most days of course aren’t interrupted by tiredness, but it’s getting more apparent that those other days my tiredness is getting the best of me, which means sleep! I normally need more than 8 hours of sleep, of course I can cope with less but I’m at my best with 8 to 9 hours of sleep. The problem is that I hardly get it as regularly as is good for me, one day I sleep 6 hours the other 10. Such sleeping patterns aren’t in my own benefit, but I’ve been handling it this way for the past 6 years, but now I really have to get out of it, even if it means a month of tiredness to end my sleeping deficit. I like to sleep, I love my bed, I almost always have pleasant dreams. Sleeping has to be good for my energy and concentration when i’m awake, but as it is now that doesn’t seem to work. I can be tired all through a day when I wake up too late, end up having done nothing.
Tonight I’m tired because what I mentioned in the beginning, to fight my tiredness mustn’t mean to not go out anymore. As I said, I like to go out, with the right music to dance to of course. Tonight I’m tired though, so I’ll go to bed early, having said that won’t mean I’ll be actually doing it, but my tiredness seems to be resolute so I trust my own words.
This post was quite nonsense, but I just felt like writing something, though expect to read more interesting posts these next few weeks. There’s a prose idea in my mind and next saturday is my 3 months on hormones post.

Sleep tight.