This is my last post dedicated to my lyrical writings, writings which never found any music to go with, but that’s not a sin. I am glad to have written these texts about my feelings concerning my gender dysphoria. It is special to read them back after a few years, also because I have left the bulk of these feelings behind me last year, and I hope to make even more progress this year. The last lyric I present you with was written in  December 2005 when I already had a number of sessions with my gender therapist of the genderteam, but I felt I wasn’t making progress despite the fact that I went to live on my own again in October that year. Eventually 2006 and 2007 the real turning point years, in a way this text also ushered in the end of a sorrowfull period in my life. I’m also most proud of this text, maybe of all my text this one is most special to me, because it really shows what I felt and it is written in a way which is in my opinion most musical of almost all the lyrics I have ever written.

Battle the Fates

I’m too late … far far too late
It went by before I … I could sigh
I could not notice what … what I did
Now I try tricking my … my own mind
I’m too late … far far too late
I begin to dissipate
It went by before I … I could sigh
I could not notice what … what I did
Now I try tricking my … my own mind
I’m too late … far far too late
I begin to dissipate … try to battle the fates
I’m too late … far far too late

Why does life need to be fighting my fatality?
How a daughter feels … feels so weak
this is fate for a son … son of scorn
now why try tricking my … my own mind?
I’m too late … far far too late
I begin to dissipate … try to battle the fates
I’m too late … far far too late
Why does life need to be fighting my fatality?
It went by before I … I could sigh
I could not notice what … what I did
Now I try tricking my … my own mind
I’m too late … far far too late
I begin to dissipate … try to battle the fates
I’m too late … far far too late
I begin to dissipate … try to battle the fates
I’m too late … far far too late

(first written down December 2005)