Four months, one third of a year, it doesn’t feel that long but truth is it’s already that long that I’ve been on hormones, still going steady, and happily, towards bigger changes.
Last week I sent out an e-mail to my aunts and uncles, to inform them what’s going on and to have some control over how they look at me and what I’m going through. I got two repsonses, a really sweet one from a niece of mine and one from my godmother which was somewhat positive but disappointed in the idea that my parents haven’t talked about it with her. I don’t know to which extent my parents have talked to all their brothers and sisters, but clearly someone would wasn’t all that much informed. I don’t mind that much, my relationship with my extended family is very limited, I hardly see them and often there’s little to talk about with them. They are nice people, but beside the bloodline I don’t feel any thorough connection to them. I’m glad I’ve sent out that e-mail though, it’s better for my parents not to feel entirely obliged and responsible to communicate my situation to all their relatives. I am equally grown up to inform my aunts and uncles to a fuller extent by myself.
On something totally different, my healthcare insurer has agreed to reimburse an amount of my expenses for facial hair removal for this year. This means I can start with the facial hair removal, though I might need to have another test session, because the result of the one I had late December doesn’t seem to be that succesful.
Regarding the hair on my head I’m still majorly thrilled to see that much hair return, what testosterone took away from me is now for a large part returning. One area though will not change that much probably, that’s the receded hairline, at the temples it has returned though in general the hairline isn’t clearly proceding again. I hope to change my hairstyle as soon as the returned hair is long enough to do something nice with it. This will take over a year, maybe two, depends on how fast my hair grows. I’m already really excited about getting another hairstyle, to throw my hair loose. Eventually I could decide to have my hairline adjusted with cosmetic surgery, but that’s not something I can seriously think about, especially because I lack the money to do so!
Even though I won’t be informing you about my exact breast development for another two months, I can tell that there’s still some awkward itchy feeling going on. It’s not as irritating as when my breasts first started to develop, but it does show that there’s still something happening. It’s not going as fast as in December, but hey I’m only four months on hormones, so there’s enough time to get to a satisfactory cup size.
Then there’s something I haven’t discussed in my updates yet, the issue of passing as female. It’s really hard to have a truthful opinion about this myself. I can’t read other people’s minds, and I don’t feel like asking every innocent bystander if they see me as a woman. Of course now and then I do notice people looking a bit too long at me, not showing an opinion of how I look in how they look at me, but they do look at me. There are loads of people when I’m walking about the city center who don’t take any notice of my possibly less feminine appearance than they might expect from a woman. Does that mean I pass? I know my voice doesn’t pass yet, and I’m slacking at contacting the local speech coach to start speech sessions, next update I will have an appointment with her in my agenda though. That’s a promise!

In honor of my best friend, Sabrina, I will end this update with quoting her opinion about the effect of my hormone treatment. It’s in Dutch, translated to English it would say: ‘Heavy stuff those hormones‘.
Sabrina said:
“Sterk spul die hormonen!“