There’s no practice in being a student

I’m a student.
I’m a Master-student in developmentstudies.
I plan to graduate from university this year.
I am ill motivated to study.
Then how realistic is it that I will actually finish my study this year?
I don’t know. The only thing I know is that I need to write my final thesis. I’m done with being a student though, I’m not a person whom has the selfishness to achieve greatness for my own good. I want to achieve something for the greater good, that’s why I went to study developmentstudies in the first place. As a student though, I can mean little for the greater good. That is why I am a lousy student, as a person I might be a bit of an einzelgänger, but I’d rather say that I’m a true individual. My greatest goals aren’t aimed at myself to be this true individual, but to have a share in bringing the world together for the greater good of mankind and the planet. If I would be a crowd pleaser instead, who pleases it’s personal crowd by showing good grades, and applies for an intellectuals confirmation of my insight and knowledge in developmentstudies, then I’d achieve merely the satisfaction of the people around me which consequently satisfies my insecurity about my capability to handle life after university. I am in doubt about what life will bring after finishing my study, but I am not insecure about it and I feel no need to please the people around me with amazing grades. Okay, it would be nice to finish my study with a nice grade, only to please my opinion that my previous grades could have been better. I have some dissatisfaction about that, but I have no ulterior motivation to make it happen. What do the people who live on less than a Euro a day care about if I have had an amazing grade for my final thesis, they have more important things to care about. So do I!
“The world is unfair” someone said to me twice yesterday. I can’t fashion the world in my views, I’m merely a student, but I won’t be a pawn of the world! I am an individual, whom wants to learn, though my achievements need to be judged on something else than current intellectual opinion if I write something down this way or the other way. I like theory, absolutely, but I’m better with everyday practice, there I find my insight to be most usefull. The lessons of my actions in practice mean much more to me than the grades on my university degrees.
At the moment I am trapped in the system though. I have a large study-debt standing, which I could half if I graduate, and without the Master-degree in my pocket I will have little chance to start my working career in a function of any meaning. It will also mean a lower wage scale which makes repaying my debt, which will start in 2011, more difficult. Also certain issues concerning my transition could become troublesome if I lack the income for financing these certain issues. Despite this I continue to be an optimist, I will graduate in December this year and I will find myself a suitable job. That doesn’t mean I won’t struggle with all of what I’ve just written down, I will have to make this work myself, and if I won’t succeed I can’t blame the system, because I won’t be that pawn that many students around me are willing to be.
As soon as I start writing my final thesis I will give an update, because I might become interesting, I have new ideas and a chance for new found motivations.