So today the VOX was released with in it the interview with me about my initiative, GenderQontrast, and about myself. It didn’t struck me at first, but there was something wrong with the title, something very wrong. The article which is of course in dutch and has a dutch title is titled ‘Sophies keuze‘, which is simply translated as ‘Sophies choice‘. Now I knew this title was their first title as it was written in the draft of the article which I saw on monday, after pointing to some inaccuracies within the text, that title also drew my attention, and it wasn’t quite positive attention. I was very disappointed in that title, and I e-mailed the guy whom interviewed me and whom had written the article that I wasn’t happy with that title and I proposed different ones which would suit better.
So why would Sophies choice not be suitable for an article in which I am interviewed about my transsexuality and my initiative? Not only had I not mentioned the word choice in the context of my transsexuality, I am of opinion that there is no choice in being myself. The fact that I can’t take my gender for granted is no choice, the fact that I was diagnosed as transsexual was no choice, the fact that I transition is thus also no choice. My gender differs from my birth sex that makes that I can’t take my gender for granted as non-transgendered persons can, they never feel wronged by their body as I feel, they never have to hide whom they are in the aspect of their gender, I have no choice in feeling what I feel, it’s there. Okay then I decided to seek help at the genderteam in Amsterdam, also not a choice, continuing the situation as it was or going to a genderteam for the purpose of gender reassignment, that’s no choice. How would anybody willingly choose to keep themselves stuck in a life in which body and soul are out of sync? Choice, *pah*, don’t talk to any transgender or transsexual about choice in this regard. It is a want maybe, a desire for sure, a necessity undoubtfully, but it is not a choice. The diagnosis naturally reflects this necessity to undo the wrongs my body does to my soul, starting hormone treatment and official transition is a continuation of this necessity to do whatever is possible to solve what needs to be solved.  Let me compare it this, suppose you are The Almighty God, you have created a marvellous world full of the beauties of life, but something in your creation went wrong, you created a species with very destructive traits which harm you creation, would you undo the wrong to save that which resembles you? You are almighty, if I were almighty I’d do so, not a choice but out of raw necessity to be true to yourself and your creation. Taking harm to be harmed on and on is not what an Almighty God would do, too bad for all of humanity that such a being doesn’t exist. So that’s how it is to me, I can save myself from further harm, desolation, selfdestruction and a life of psycological crisis. Choice? No, no choice!
The nasty thing to me is that I corrected this magazine editor on this false representation, I pointed to other possible titles if he wanted to stay on a literary connection to it’s title. By the way, I never read the book nor did I see the movie of ‘Sophie’s choice‘, already enough reason not to pick that title. It neither became Sophies world nor Sophie without hesitation, connecting with either a book I did read and the title of this weblog. I do not know if they simply forgot that I made a remark about that, or that someone on the editorial staff likes to poke at me or transsexuality in general. I do not know. Either way though it is very sloppy that they didn’t change the title. I even find it offensive to be honest, have to do justice to my weblog’s title, even moreso that the word choice is in fatter print than Sophies (yes I now it’s called bold).
An apology would be nice for their sloppyness, but with this post as pat on their fingers I am equally pleased.
Gawth, this is my second rant in two days, not healthy, luckily for them that I wasn’t displeased with the picture that went with the article. Though I am not entirely happy with my hair, should have looked in my little mirror a second time before the photographer took his pictures. Oh well, Saturday 20th I will be exactly 6 months on hormones, much more reason to be happy than to be irritated over a title. I stick to my point though.

“Any choice here? No…come, choice, choice where are you? No choice isn’t here! Where’s the choice??? Seems like there is none!”